The Power of a LOVE; Sung

In this moment of enormous heighten insecurity; the love of my life is threatening once again to walk out on US, ME the WE.

I choose to ride off into the momentous sunset to seek my solace in the harmonious unification of creation. The Source filled power of the chaotic is overwhelming yet comforting; the monumental feeling of defeat that is grasping out at me. The chirping of the robin in the bush, irritates the core of my being; not that he is out of sync in the flow of togetherness, but that he is and I long to be. The greater feeling of wanting to belong is flooding to the forefront; leaving the feeling of abandonment on the side of the road. If there is not he then where will the we be?

What is it or what does it take for me to be in the harmonious flow of the togetherness that surrounds me? What am I missing? What is he missing? My love, our love is it not strong enough to overpower his desire to be apart of a whole not the few, found in US? I dare to exhale the fullness of a separation. Yet her pull, their pull is stronger than the desire of ever in the the everlasting on with me. I found myself out of alignment of his greater purpose. His design and desire does not include the choosing of one; yet many. I once walked in agreeance with the grand plan and now I find myself on the outside looking in.

I found myself loving in a space of which I have never visited or tred before. This Selfish kind of love. This selfish kind of love. This selfish form of greed. Yes I said it thrice. That is how many ways and times I questioned what am I doing and how did I get off ship? He surely has been honest from the beginning of this quest or journey we are/were on. It is I, who have not been honest with him or self, until now. He is not wavering his will... am I?

I want alone-ness of the whole with him. I want him and I to be ONE alone. This is not in the grand scheme of things at hand. The greater fullness of the whole is togetherness of the many to create oneness of the many. Fact is don't know where I am and don't know where he is going. All I know is I love him: Selfishly.

My soul cries out as I vent of our parting of ways and will, to the listening ear of the one who afforded me friendship; the phone rings.

"You are so beautiful to me..." he sings so eloquently of familiar gone by. I began to smile as I listen and remembered the times his singing was the light to a busy day and was plenteous. I remember his ability to make me smile no matter the song; in that moment. I began to smile. he sang on. My eyes welled up... a tear falls. "beautiful" a muster out as he finishes the first verse. He goes on. My heart warms to the harmonious flow of his love to my soul. I breathe in ever so deeply as forgiveness overwhelms me. I breathe out... exhale if I must... all I want is to savor this moment.

My smile wars my soul as he continues; how can I forget the moment I first began to smile at him...

I melted as he walked toward me handing me my tea.

This moment: a reflection, a renewing of hope, a confronting of fear and insecurity, and joy in my wait.

If he decides to leave... in this moment...

I submit to the power of a LOVE sung.

Celebration of Centering

As I breathe in centering of SELF through love, I embrace the thought of others creating a center for themselves in this universe and at the same time being author of my own centering; I design my plan.

I am no longer settling for the mediocrity of allowing or just belonging; better yet, just being a part of. I am intentional in my choosing of that which I plan to be a part of.

I am observant in my approach in the processes in which I choose to implement my centering. I set out to develop, design, and manage that mark... some call a hub, rod, or focal point. I formulate a plan of grounding myself with the core of the earth as well as the force field of the universe. I am determined to stand firm and waver not in the stormiest moments.

In doing so I am able to stand in the midst of the storms of life without breaking in the bend and uprooting in the pull.

Today I celebrate my ability to design and determine my center.

Z

Love's lore is ever changing!

Love: we have a distorted view, overly expectant of that which is unrealistic, we are confused.

Can someone tell me why in the world do we expect perfection when it comes to relationships? I think many would beg to differ, but I stand strongly on this utterance of truth. We are out of realities realm of truth when we live the life of expectation of perfection.

No rough spots, no hard time is what we expect. At the first imbalance, or fluctuation comes along we walk out, throw in the towel, or we stomp out the flame. That is not love.

I am hungered to feed off his presence, breathe, smell, being, all that he is. I am a wonder-lust for his emoting of ALL.

He has given me NO-THING, yet he has afforded me every thing. I am Full. He has escorted me out of chaos and delivered me unto the courts of ever. The words of true, elude me as the definitions flee. Yet as I awaken the breath of this moment I dare to exhale or allow the rhythmic flow of a mere heartbeat, disrupt the monumental euphoria he gives me.

I am allowing his love to flow, build, redirect, redeposit and renew me.