We tend to hold on to people, places and things; past the duration of our GOD intended lease or we manage to skip out/abandon the lease before hand; there by creating or experiencing chaos.
This chaos is a vibrational force that sends out a rippled effect that affects us all...as we are apart of the ALL-AH.
I think of the police officer, who for what ever the reason, pulled his gun out on a child and killed then thinks ALL is fine; how he will in one way shape, form or fashion find that his rippled effect has affected all that he knows and much of who he does not know. The lives that were immediately affected will have a lasting imprint in the precious substantial moments of their life's journey. They will carry this a lifetime making future decisions on the aftermath. Many nights they will cry... will they ever release, let alone let it go?
I think of the child that chose not to come to have the human experience through me... how I cry for him/her/them... there were more than 1. How I find myself in the wee hours of the night like now... crying and missing them.
I think of the child that I chose not to allow the human experience because I was young, afraid, and raped; how I cried to abort them... yes I cried fearfully!
I think of the child that was snatched from my womb by the mistaken Dr. who misdiagnosed; how I cry for his/her touch. Yes it was 1.
I think of the child I long to have now... I cry for fear time is up on my clock.
I think of the love of my life on the other side of town with the women he loves... because I sent him away... now I cry for his presence.
I think of the love of my life walking away to the mothers of his children... you see I have none of his... I cry in emptiness.
I think of the man that looks me in the eye and declare his love for me; giving it freely to others; and dismisses my desire to be the apple of his eye: alone... I cry to be chosen.
I think of the hole in my soul that causes the void of love... I am not committed or allowed the love completely... for fear I shall leave and let it go...I shall...he came, he tasted, he went... Still I cry.
When I think of release, I think of what it originally meant...
Re= Egyptian origin; Rê, ancient Egyptian god Ra.
Re=Ra=God
Lease = is a contract that determines for how long you can stay at the place you are renting and how much you have to pay...
I think of how God determines for how long you can stay at the place you are using and what price you have to pay. Those of you that do not believe in GOD or ALL-AH or SOURCE or UNIVERSE may not feel that any one thing determines anything in your life. In this case this thing called LAW or KARMA or DESTINY controlling much of your life; I say same difference.
We have to allow that our lease is up on any given thought, person, place, thing or experience at the appointed or given time and that GOD shall re-lease us unto another. By understanding that allowing is not giving up or condemning, it is taking us to the next momentous experience we find our joy and happiness.
When I think of letting go...
I think of the fear of not having. I think of the fear of aloneness. I think of being empty hearted and empty handed. I think of long nights. I think of sadness and heartache.
also...
I think of new and freshness. I think of smiles and laughter. I think of sunshine. I think of love.
Most of all I think of crying and being tear-less.
Still I Cry, in order to re-lease; finding that I let go and yet experiencing the NEXT Now!
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