The Best Present

The flow of life anew, is the present called "today".

It is in the allowing we find a renewing of things past known, experienced, heard, felt, and spoken. It is in the present that we find that gift called magic. It is in the majestic flow that we come to the manifestation of destinations on the journey called life that which we alone has summoned. In our calling of that which is just and pure we find ourselves affirming that thing called good.

I call forth the ability, will, desire, determination and expectation to experience, enjoy and evoke love upon the present in order to obtain the new the morrow. I breath in the magical essence called life. I dare not take for granted the fullness there in. It is in each and every breath that I am afforded the opportunity to be apart of all and to manifest all through the all I AM that is within all things as well as myself. It is the tool or blessing that is set in place that I may be destined to achieve the present that is set as law within the universal poetic flow. It is in this flow that I dance with destiny toward the end of a bounty full journey; ever twisting, ever turning, inspiring, moulding, mending and shaping the essence call I AM that is found in ME!

Today I celebrate the ability and willingness to allow life anew each and every moment; not bring in the clouds of yester-minute, day,year...moment called mine.

I find magic in the present as I enjoy life anew!

Cry, Re-lease and let it go.

The saying "we are all in this together" means just that... We are ALL in this place, space, or universe together and what I do inadvertently sends out effects; and in some way affects ALL.

We tend to hold on to people, places and things; past the duration of our GOD intended lease or we manage to skip out/abandon the lease before hand; there by creating or experiencing chaos.

This chaos is a vibrational force that sends out a rippled effect that affects us all...as we are apart of the ALL-AH.

I think of the police officer, who for what ever the reason, pulled his gun out on a child and killed then thinks ALL is fine; how he will in one way shape, form or fashion find that his rippled effect has affected all that he knows and much of who he does not know. The lives that were immediately affected will have a lasting imprint in the precious substantial moments of their life's journey. They will carry this a lifetime making future decisions on the aftermath. Many nights they will cry... will they ever release, let alone let it go?

I think of the child that chose not to come to have the human experience through me... how I cry for him/her/them... there were more than 1. How I find myself in the wee hours of the night like now... crying and missing them.

I think of the child that I chose not to allow the human experience because I was young, afraid, and raped; how I cried to abort them... yes I cried fearfully!

I think of the child that was snatched from my womb by the mistaken Dr. who misdiagnosed; how I cry for his/her touch. Yes it was 1.

I think of the child I long to have now... I cry for fear time is up on my clock.

I think of the love of my life on the other side of town with the women he loves... because I sent him away... now I cry for his presence.

I think of the love of my life walking away to the mothers of his children... you see I have none of his... I cry in emptiness.

I think of the man that looks me in the eye and declare his love for me; giving it freely to others; and dismisses my desire to be the apple of his eye: alone... I cry to be chosen.

I think of the hole in my soul that causes the void of love... I am not committed or allowed the love completely... for fear I shall leave and let it go...I shall...he came, he tasted, he went... Still I cry.

When I think of release, I think of what it originally meant...

Re= Egyptian origin; Rê, ancient Egyptian god Ra.

Re=Ra=God

Lease = is a contract that determines for how long you can stay at the place you are renting and how much you have to pay...

I think of how God determines for how long you can stay at the place you are using and what price you have to pay. Those of you that do not believe in GOD or ALL-AH or SOURCE or UNIVERSE may not feel that any one thing determines anything in your life. In this case this thing called LAW or KARMA or DESTINY controlling much of your life; I say same difference.

We have to allow that our lease is up on any given thought, person, place, thing or experience at the appointed or given time and that GOD shall re-lease us unto another. By understanding that allowing is not giving up or condemning, it is taking us to the next momentous experience we find our joy and happiness.

When I think of letting go...

I think of the fear of not having. I think of the fear of aloneness. I think of being empty hearted and empty handed. I think of long nights. I think of sadness and heartache.

also...

I think of new and freshness. I think of smiles and laughter. I think of sunshine. I think of love.

Most of all I think of crying and being tear-less.

Still I Cry, in order to re-lease; finding that I let go and yet experiencing the NEXT Now!

Fear of SUCCESS Stress

Man! I never realized that the fear of success is full of stress. Just when I think I know myself; I am stressed out due to the fear of success.

I have so many things going on that will take me to the top and the closer I get, the more stressed out I get. Not for the doing that I have to do to get there; but from the thoughts of what happens if I really get there.

This is nuts. Although many a men have stolen my ideas and claimed my works as theirs; it is I who am my biggest saboteur.

I push my children to be the best that they can be as I sit and watch them rise... I pause. They often ask me when will I take my ideas and run to the top? Good question I say.

The time is now. I must push past this blockade that I have build and shine on my grind. Although I am forever grinding I lack the shine. I sit worried what others will think or do when wealth take me to my rightful place. Then I look to my right and left and now I say... who is here now... not too many. So the heck with the rest.

Today is the first day of the best days of the rest of my life. I am free of self and move with SELF to the top... as Zig Ziggler say..."See you at the top"! I say keep hating so I won't have to. lol.