Love a Mist

The lingering dew of the mist of love seems not to be enough to quench the thirst: mine. More and more I am fading into the misty blues of love. A love; that has not been the filler of what I thought I posses. I have not been that which I set out to be or to obtain, in the midst of this love. How do I be that which he sees me not? DO I even TRY?

NO more!

Have you ever woke up and found out you are not who you thought you were to the one who is everything in your world? Seems like this is the story of my life. Maybe instead of the regulatory background check or catch up, the quest should be to find out how this person sees you or what role you may play in this persons video. WOW! Life is like that box of chocolate... you don't know what you are going to get and most of the stuff gets left in the box; because it is not palatable. But what do you do with the chocolate that you chose to bite into? Anyhow that is another blog.

Back to the question at hand.

I remember feeling that I was my sister's best-friend and found out later we were enemies... literally! I was flabbergasted.

I can even remember thinking I was friends with this guy and he was thinking I was his woman. Can you imagine the mess when I introduced my man to him? Yeah... disastrous.

Now, how can you imagine having a man and he, after a year ends up telling you the role in his life he sees you in is, educator! LOL. I am clear now that wife is out of this picture if it ever was in! Surely husband for me is out and diminished. Love is there but it is a mist. I tried not to hear him but lord knows I have no choice. Now my question is... how do you move from wanting to be this nurturing, caring, loving, catering, affectionate, motherly, sensual sista to the educator?

I am thrown a loop. Nothing I do can or will put me in the wife's role with this man.

I do clearly understand that my position must be... to be what he sees me as. What do I look like trying to fill another woman's role in his life. Crazy huh.

In this moment I celebrate my own stance on who I am and not trying to fill the shoes of another. If I am not that one... change the game or players.

In this moment, I celebrate... I am that one, in my life.